In light of recent controversy and its handling, the twice-a-year FediForum unconference for April 1st and 2nd has been canceled by its organizer.

  • Lola@hubzilla.monster
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    12 hours ago

    I consider myself both CIS and trans, although I hate labels. I don’t fall into stereotypes. I am just me.

  • sabreW4K3@lazysoci.al
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    3 days ago

    I don’t understand how we live in a society where so many people are concerned with what other people do. Most of the world will never knowingly deal with trans people and yet they’re obsessed. How about people stop focusing on how to differentiate each other and instead focus on ways to bring people together?

    Some of what Kaliya is saying sounds reasonable but it’s actually reprehensible. As far as sport goes, someone pointed out a while back that sport would be better off if division was done by skill and weight class and I wholeheartedly agree, let’s make sport better and more inclusive, foundationally.

    As for Johannes, unfortunately when you try and remain classy, people baying for heads will feel you’re not doing enough. I felt he did little wrong, but can totally see how a more fire and brimstone approach would’ve appeased some.

    • Sean Tilley@lemmy.mlOPM
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      3 days ago

      To be fair to Johannes, I think he ultimately made the right decision. The main problem lie in communication, and timeliness.

    • Frank Casa@frank.casa
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      3 days ago

      No matter what you did in this situation, you are screwed. If you don’t respond harshly enough, you will be attacked for it. If you react too harshly, you will be accused of overreacting, even by people who agree with your reaction. It is impossible to please everyone in this situation.

    • Sean Tilley@lemmy.mlOPM
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      3 days ago

      Her comments cover everything from “trans women are mostly autistic boys who have been gaslit” to “there are only two sexes” to “trans people are unfit to play in their gender’s sport.” However, there are far worse comments floating around out there that talk about genital mutilation and all kinds of other heinous shit.

      • Vendetta9076@sh.itjust.works
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        3 days ago

        So the other stuff is clearly wrong and gross, but I’m confused by the “only two sexes” comment. Gender being a spectrum makes sense but I always thought we all pretty much agreed that biological sex was a binary function in humans. Sure there are genetic disorders that create exceptions, but aren’t those exceptions that prove the rule instead of break it?

        This is a genuine question. I’m a computer guy not a biology guy.

        • Sean Tilley@lemmy.mlOPM
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          3 days ago

          So…while biology does account for male and female reproductive systems across a variety of species, they have found that, as they continue to study many different forms of life, that they actually have to keep adjusting the model of what they once thought. Life is weirder, more complex, and accounts for a tremendous amount of variation in how this whole thing works.

          I’m not a biologist, there are experts who can speak extremely well on this subject. Within the field of biology, the whole “two sexes” thing is kind of an oversimplification. Even if we just focus on humans and not, say, some form of algae with 500 different sexes, there are plenty of divergent forms of human beings that manifest as some form of intersex, with quite a few different variations.

          Even if intersex people are a fraction of a fraction of the population, they are a compelling case study for why things don’t definitively boil down across some kind of sexual binary across the board for absolutely everyone. Heck, even males and females in the traditional sense of sexual dimorphism tend to exhibit traits of the other sex in one way or another.

          TL;DR - it’s a huge complicated can of worms, and people who try to shutdown discussion of nonbinary or transgender identities with “there’s only two sexes, it’s just science!” tend to have a grade-school understanding of biology.

          • Vendetta9076@sh.itjust.works
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            2 days ago

            I feel like were straying back into “sex and gender are the same thing” territory which seems reductive to me.

            Not sure why we would focus on algae when we’re clearly only talking about humans.

            I get that intersex/other genetic disorders exist. But I still don’t get how that breaks the rule instead of proving it. The rule is that humans have two arms and two legs. Just because there’s one armed people doesn’t mean that rule is broken. It means they’re an exception to that rule.

          • Lola@hubzilla.monster
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            3 days ago

            Another thing to consider is that humans have a brain powerful enough to override human instincts. For example, we are born with an instinct to reproduce, but we can choose not to.

            This also applies to our sexuality, personality, gender, behaviors, preferences, and more. We don’t have to conform to instincts, norms, or stereotypes.

            Since that is the case, unless you’re strictly talking about anatomy, two sexes aren’t an accurate way to describe human sexuality.

        • Lola@hubzilla.monster
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          3 days ago

          I don’t think that the problem is saying that there are “two sexes.” The problem is that many people who say that tend to assign a specific gender or stereotype to that sex. In other words, what they really mean is that “men are supposed to be one way and women are supposed to be another,” with the implication that someone isn’t a real man or women if they are not that stereotype. That notion dismisses the reality for people who do not conform to those stereotypes. Trans people are the most obvious expression of gender fluidity, but I think most people don’t conform to society’s rigid standards. They just hide behind a mask, and if they are lucky, express it in the bedroom with a trusted partner.

          But, as someone who does not fit gender stereotypes, I can say that there are only four anatomical configurations that people are born with: female genitalia (vagina), male genitalia (penis), both male and female genitalia (vagina and a penis) and no sexual genitalia. Most people are the first two. It also should be noted that a person can have surgery to alter this, and that babies born with both genitalia usually have surgery shortly after birth so they only have one, not both.

          So a lot of the reaction to that statement is what people are reading between the lines, and not those specific words themselves.

          • Ferk@lemmy.ml
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            2 days ago

            what they really mean is that “men are supposed to be one way and women are supposed to be another,” with the implication that someone isn’t a real man or women if they are not that stereotype

            I think what they often imply is that for them gender is just a way to refer to male and female sex, and not really a stereotype. If someone is female/male then in their eyes they are a woman/man regardless of what they look or how they behave, because it’s not about social stereotypes for them. Even if a man looks and behaves like a stereotypical woman, it would not stop being “a real man” because for them gender isn’t about looks, behavior or feelings of identity.

            However, the trans community sees gender as something that relates to what stereotype (social construct) a person identifies with, and this makes gender independent of sex, because you can identify with a gender stereotype that does not match the stereotype that you might typically associate with your biological sex.

            • Melmi@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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              2 days ago

              I don’t think “identifying with social stereotypes” is really an accurate representation of what being trans is.

              Sure, there are some people who transition and identify as stereotypical members of their desired gender, but there are also people who transition and are gender nonconforming after their transition, but still identify as binary trans.

              Identifying with social stereotypes also doesn’t account for physical dysphoria, which is very real for a lot of trans folks. Some trans folks change little about their presentation when they transition but still want hormones and/or surgery.

              • Ferk@lemmy.ml
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                2 days ago

                What I said is that for a trans, “gender relates to what stereotype (social construct) a person identifies with”. I did not say their gender matches a particular stereotype, but that it relates to it.

                Someone who does not identify with a typical stereotype and believes that this makes them be of a different gender, is defining their gender based on whether they fit (or don’t fit, in this case) a specific social stereotype.

                However, someone who does not believe gender relates to stereotypes at all would not see that person as having a different gender because that person’s gender (for those people) would be unrelated to whether they match (or identify themselves with) a stereotype or not.

                • Melmi@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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                  2 days ago

                  I think your take is reductive. Gender isn’t about stereotypes. I’m sure that for many trans people, part of their trans discovery was not feeling like a stereotypical member of their sex, but there’s more to it than that. You can say that gender relates to a lot of things. Gender is ultimately an internal experience that means different things to different people, and isn’t necessarily related to identifying or not identifying with any given stereotype.

                  Bioessentialism in turn reduces people to genitals, and sort of refuses to address intersex people because something something “outliers don’t count”. At best it says sure, you can dress up however you want, but it’s super important that everyone know What You Really Are so they can put you in a box and appropriately segregate society.

              • Lola@hubzilla.monster
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                2 days ago

                And there are also people like me. I am feminine and have male anatomy. I don’t feel the need to have surgery to conform to other people’s gender stereotypes. I am a feminine man. People just have to deal with the fact that not everyone conforms to society’s stereotypes. And, while I respect other people’s right to alter their bodies how they see fit, I don’t think I should change my body just because someone says men aren’t supposed to be feminine.

                • Ferk@lemmy.ml
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                  2 days ago

                  Of course you (or anyone) don 't need to have surgery to conform to other people’s gender stereotypes. But I don’t think that’s what was implied here.

                  What’s “feminine”? is that not a gender stereotype? I don’t think there’s anything wrong about being a man that closer fits a feminine stereotype than a masculine one.

      • moreeni@lemm.ee
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        3 days ago

        They were clearly referring to the arguments provided in the article.

        • Kuori [she/her]@hexbear.net
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          3 days ago

          You think it IS moral to have male-bodied people who identify as trans women playing in elite comparative sport for female-bodied people?

          Go listen to detransitioners and what has happened as the culture has gone competely bonkers confusing sex and gender.

          in what universe is this not transphobic? or am i missing something?

    • Walk_blesseD@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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      3 days ago

      You don’t understand how they can be controversial? How about factually, for starters. Even setting aside the issue of transphobia (which we really shouldn’t because let’s face it, it’s pretty central to what’s going on) every one of the posts displayed contains a claim that’s blatantly untrue on its face.

  • MBM@lemmings.world
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    3 days ago

    Telling male children who have feminine tights they must be female is what is happening and it is hurting boys.

    This one just confuses me, I thought I heard all the talking points at this point (luckily the next sentence is much more familiar)

    • pogmommy@lemmy.ml
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      2 days ago

      I can only imagine “tights” was supposed to be “thoughts”? Still, clearly exhibits a deep misunderstanding of what she’s talking about