I think the bigger issue is Ernest simply refused outside help. He took everything on himself and didn’t allow outside contributions, which is just not sustainable for a project of that size. It’s a shame because I really wanted to like KBin, especially since it’s written in PHP and I’m a PHP developer, but Lemmy ended out winning.
I’ve registered on a bunch of Lemmy instances, but I stuck with lemmy.ml because for the most part it seemed to have the least amount of downtime IME. Though I think they’re all pretty stable these days anyway.
What you said is very true though, it helps to try out and especially actively use alternatives, since that’s how you end up with software like Chrome (not really but kind of, you get the idea).