I used to participate in (what was then) the largest and most active automotive enthusiast forum for a specific brand. They had forums for each major model run, and classifieds, etc. I’d go there for how-to’s, detailed info, reviews, tips and tricks, and of course, to tall with like-minded people. Meet ups even spawned from these groups, and friendships were forged.

As it really picked up steam, though, the forum creators decided to monetize, as every large website grapples with how to sustain their growth. Unfortunately, they decided to implement ads, subscription/pay wall, and within a month, there were five competing websites. The majority of us left in the first two weeks.

Now that forum still exists, but the content is gone, deleted by users who didn’t appreciate their content being monetized (sound familiar, June 2023?). The replacements? Some struggle on, and one or two are vibrant, but mostly, it imploded. There was one glorious pair of years though, when I (and thousands of others) spent hours every day on the forum, and every topic was covered.

In hindsight, the downfall was more than just the advertisements and pay walling. It was a few non-admins that were treated as defacto mods, and they had bad attitudes. Flaming anyone who asked questions that were asked before (this was before Google made searching easier), and also holding their own practices as the only way to maintain their cars.

The reddit versions of the forums were not remotely the same, with people coming and going and not really sticking around. The best place for the info is still forums, though I think they struggle with server upkeep and costs. It’s sad to me, but all things change. I’m glad for archive.org.

Not temporary.

Looks temporary to me:

No interest in engaging with you further. Good luck, comrade.

Looks to me like you got (temp) banned for posting apparent incel comments in a hateful way. Not to mention your advice was exactly what the OP said they were avoiding from their own friends.

Perhaps reading the room is a good start before you click reply. Doubling down when called out for hateful comments will rarely go well, and defaulting to name calling and reducing well-received advice to a “lib salad” (whatever that means) won’t either. Perhaps stop behaving like the internet is some place where manners and respect are optional, and you’ll feel more welcome wherever you go.

I’m not trying to call you out or rehash that relationship advice here, only pointing out that you can disagree with people politely if you truly do desire respectful discourse. I hope you reflect on the ban and the comments replied to you. The world needs fewer, not more hateful incels or “alpha males.”

Kitboga on YouTube

Kitboga posts on YT, but he’s based on Twitch, where he goes live almost daily.

This comment seems to be the first reply. I don’t get a “just for argument sake” or a combative vibe from it, nor does it mention mythology or religion. A later comment does call the source for anecdotal (and provably false) information “idiots,” which is unnecessary and likely grounds for mod action or warning.

I don’t really read anything wrong with the mod saying to keep it clean, though the thinly-veiled threat of, “I’m a mod here and I’m not afraid to ban you,” is poorly worded at best.

I completely agree with you about politeness. At the end of the day, I think that, judging methods alone, OP was out of line with his comments about the mods friends, but correct to point out bunk facts.

If I was OP, I’d probably edit my comments to remove the name-calling, but as a Lemmy user, I want these discussions to take place to provide fact-checking for hearsay and debunked science. Politely, whenever possible.

I’m pleased with activityPub beginning to make “protocols not platforms” a reality.

And so on

It’s open source. Jump in there and fix it for us!

It’s not wrong. The post in your example has 560 upvotes and 2 down votes, with a cumulative score of 558.

There is a button on the bottom bar of each reply that looks like a chat bubble with a dot in the upper right. Tap it, and the icon changes to colorized with a checkmark. Now that message is “read” and a refresh should remove it from your “Unread” view.