I #me (i@myself) myself am happy #delighted (delirious@happy) to not have comments #posts (comments@posts) that look like someone crashed #accident (carcrash@death) their car while typing #fuckoffandjusttypeanormalsentence

You probably need to stop taking gastronomic inspiration from cartoons

Yes these are certainly words

Wots the yellow stuff?

Back in my day, if you were walking down the street in fishnet stockings and a leopard print fur coat, you’d get called a tart

A similar thing would happen if you were a pastry base with that amount of topping on you

Step one - make lentil stew

Step two - call it lentil soup

*American IPA is overhopped piss for cleaning hubcaps

There are hundreds of fantastic European ones

Have to say, making beer beef stew is a very old Scottish tradition, and Guinness is definitely one of the worst beers you could use. It’s a stout and too heavy with the beef. An IPA works perfectly though!

Edit - also, modern Scottish trick - add a splash of dry red wine too!

I know people that would actually murder you for calling whatever the fuck that is “pigs in blankets” 🧐

Ah yes, pretending to be offended on behalf of a minority to gain attention, then when called out on it, pretending to be the minority themselves to gain favour

Your “refugee” parents simply didn’t give you enough attention when you were a kid, huh? 🤣

I’m sorry but this is a really offensive comment for dyslexics. Don’t you know how lucky you are to be able to read?!? Oh my god so angry I’m shaking rn

👆 You

I’m sure you think you’re making the world better, but I promise you, you’re not. You’re just trying to make it more about you, and it’s insufferable

I’m sure actual refugees have more to worry about than whether you’re offended on their behalf, mate

Let’s be honest here, they look doughy as fuck and a Frenchman would burn your car for less

Northern *England ftfy

Not so much food porn as scat 😂

Now I’m partially erect

I’ve tried and failed to find chicken salt in Europe and I’m starting to think it’s either not as good as yous say, or it’s banned 😅

The Aussies are the only others that understand fish n chips. That looks fucking superb

Usually accompanied by Irn Bru or Vimto, rather than overpriced fruit water though, but I’ll let you off 😂