I only mention Lemmy as a caution, like what to avoid, while I’m mentioning other fediverse social media…
Because I’m a woman and most of the people I know who want social media alternatives are also women, and I’m not subjecting them to this shitshow. I like them too much to bring them here.
It’s like people think FOSS means considerate. It means it’s the wild west, with a few zealous moderators who care way more about respecting femboys than women.
I read a similar sentiment yesterday in a thread about apparent misogyny on lemmy. As someone affected, what would you suggest be done to improve the situation?
I must say I have rarely observed the issue myself and if so the offenders generally get down voted to hell and eventually mod deleted. Though I am of course a dude and not frequenting the women centric spaces, so my perception is definitely skewed.
I don’t really think there’s anything that can be done other than policing your own and letting the platform grow.
It’s a whole vibe thing, not just obvious stuff.
For example, whenever there were questions aimed at women (hey ladies, what’s your hair routine? Sort of thing), it’s nothing but a bunch of men spouting off about what their wives or girlfriends do, and maybe a few actual women, but their comments always ended up buried. Nobody actually wants that “the woman in my life does this, I think…” sort of input at all, except other men (which unfortunately is the vast majority of the platform, so those “as a man” comments get heavily upvoted, even when they are obviously full of complete shit). It drowns out the few female voices that actually are around. And if you correct some dude in a post for women voices, about something men typically know nothing about, you’ll get heavily downvoted for it. Not at all welcoming.
I know we have some strong transfem comms, and I’m all for it because all women are women, but the experience of those women is wildly different from cis women, and a lot of the memes and stuff coming from those comms are sort of… cis-excluding and often very off-putting. Which is sort of the only fem representation on here.
It’s just not friendly for women. And so so many things need to change before it really is.
Thanks for your insights, now that you mention it I have noticed the tendency for husbands of women to chime in instead of the wives themselves quite a bit. I didn’t realize it was that ubiquitous.
I will try to make a conscious effort to pay attention to these tendencies you describe, and also thank you for sticking it out 💪
I never told anyone I used Reddit, but I’ve def told many about Lemmy (within my foss propaganda I regularly administer upon the unsuspecting, if need be at the urinals).
(Still won’t ever share my username, I don’t like people like that)
I started using Reddit in 2008 (kill me). One of the of the defining traits of the site at the time was the fact everything was anonymous. It was considered taboo to expose your Reddit persona to your irl circles. Hell, I still don’t have an email associated with my Reddit account.
It’s been interesting, and a little tragic, to watch that attitude erode over the years and then see Reddit itself encourage the idea of creating a unique identity to cash in.
Lemmy is way more like the original Reddit & I’ll actually admit to using Lemmy, even though no one knows wtf I’m on about.
I wouldnt tell anyone i use Reddit irl let alone Lemmy
I only mention Lemmy as a caution, like what to avoid, while I’m mentioning other fediverse social media…
Because I’m a woman and most of the people I know who want social media alternatives are also women, and I’m not subjecting them to this shitshow. I like them too much to bring them here.
It’s like people think FOSS means considerate. It means it’s the wild west, with a few zealous moderators who care way more about respecting femboys than women.
I read a similar sentiment yesterday in a thread about apparent misogyny on lemmy. As someone affected, what would you suggest be done to improve the situation?
I must say I have rarely observed the issue myself and if so the offenders generally get down voted to hell and eventually mod deleted. Though I am of course a dude and not frequenting the women centric spaces, so my perception is definitely skewed.
I don’t really think there’s anything that can be done other than policing your own and letting the platform grow.
It’s a whole vibe thing, not just obvious stuff.
For example, whenever there were questions aimed at women (hey ladies, what’s your hair routine? Sort of thing), it’s nothing but a bunch of men spouting off about what their wives or girlfriends do, and maybe a few actual women, but their comments always ended up buried. Nobody actually wants that “the woman in my life does this, I think…” sort of input at all, except other men (which unfortunately is the vast majority of the platform, so those “as a man” comments get heavily upvoted, even when they are obviously full of complete shit). It drowns out the few female voices that actually are around. And if you correct some dude in a post for women voices, about something men typically know nothing about, you’ll get heavily downvoted for it. Not at all welcoming.
I know we have some strong transfem comms, and I’m all for it because all women are women, but the experience of those women is wildly different from cis women, and a lot of the memes and stuff coming from those comms are sort of… cis-excluding and often very off-putting. Which is sort of the only fem representation on here.
It’s just not friendly for women. And so so many things need to change before it really is.
Thanks for your insights, now that you mention it I have noticed the tendency for husbands of women to chime in instead of the wives themselves quite a bit. I didn’t realize it was that ubiquitous.
I will try to make a conscious effort to pay attention to these tendencies you describe, and also thank you for sticking it out 💪
Perhaps I am so conditioned to concealing my gender online that I haven’t experienced misogyny here, but I felt like most the community are feminists.
Is there an equivalent to TwoXChromo here?
There used to be, but it was mostly men commenting, and mostly men upvoting, which drowns out any actual women’s voices that may have been there.
Pretty sure all the woman-focused subs have shut down.
I never told anyone I used Reddit, but I’ve def told many about Lemmy (within my foss propaganda I regularly administer upon the unsuspecting, if need be at the urinals).
(Still won’t ever share my username, I don’t like people like that)
I started using Reddit in 2008 (kill me). One of the of the defining traits of the site at the time was the fact everything was anonymous. It was considered taboo to expose your Reddit persona to your irl circles. Hell, I still don’t have an email associated with my Reddit account.
It’s been interesting, and a little tragic, to watch that attitude erode over the years and then see Reddit itself encourage the idea of creating a unique identity to cash in.
Lemmy is way more like the original Reddit & I’ll actually admit to using Lemmy, even though no one knows wtf I’m on about.
Yeah, was on Reddit almost daily since prob around 2008 too, up till only a bit over two years ago.
The anonymity within one account(name) is great, don’t need or want more for interaction online.
It’s great for introverted social interaction.
Yeah, trying to expose a Lemmy user’s IRL identity is a huge taboo in the community
someone in IRL asked me my username once, and I thought it was so weird. Of course, I didn’t tell them.
I one tolk them they can find me as the top poster on r/clopclop
We’re concerned about privacy but we’re still posting on these aged accounts… I’ll start anew if you do! :)
My issue was them asking what social media I used.
I sometimes said Reddit cause saying nothing sometimes got me perplexed looks.
I’ve heard people say, “I saw X on Reddit” I don’t think it’s stigmatized.
I just say i saw it online
Someone never saw the Boston reddit meetup photo.
Ironic
Reddit is entirely a “normie” platform now. 6 years ago I was actually made fun of for using it, but now even my grandparents talk about it.
For a good reason
Fuck reddit